On Boyhood

*This post guaranteed to stay spoiler-free.*

This weekend, between shifts at my new sandwich shop job, I sat down to watch the movie Boyhood. I knew little-to-nothing about it going in, besides the fact that it was filmed over the course of 12 years, with the same cast of characters.

I've had a hard time articulating to people why I enjoyed this film so much. Normally, I'm a fan of the development of characters in TV shows over movies. In a show, the characters have time to truly develop and change over the course of the show's seasons. The intriguing thing to me about Boyhood was the fact that, while it's running time neared three hours, it stood as more of a vignette of the struggles and life of a child of divorce through the primary grades.

While I have seen a few people criticize the film for lacking plot, I think that was something I found refreshing and different about the movie. It's narrative wasn't tied up in the events that were occurring to the characters; the narrative was the characters. The loose events that occurred in this young man's life throughout the course of the film were tied together to show how family, big moves and our surroundings can all make an impact on how we develop.

Another thing I enjoyed about the film was how organic it felt. Partially because filming took place well over a decade, you saw all of the details of life as it changed and advanced during the course of the first decade of the new millennium. Most films have to carefully create the feeling through the use of appropriate, period props. Boyhood, on the other hand, portrayed these things as they changed. Even the soundtrack helped me to keep track of roughly what year the scenes were taking place.

Finally, I think Boyhood resonated with me because it had so many small, but deeply relate-able, moments. In several of the struggles of the main characters, I saw parallel struggles to members of my family. Many bits of Mason's wisdom as he grows up hit home with me, too. His conversation with his girlfriend about deleting his Facebook, and this odd dynamic we've begun to create where our relationships are some strange hybrid of electronic correspondence with smatterings of face-to-face interaction, hit home with me. We hide behind our screens, and sometimes I find myself a bit surprised that this doesn't bother us more than it does.

If you have a low-key weekend evening ahead of you, I highly recommend spending an evening with this work by Richard Linklater.

Finding Blackwater

Over the course of the past few months since moving to Kansas City, I've felt a bit... melancholy and discontent. One thing about adulthood that isn't really apparent until you've become one? How routine and drab most days can become. You spend the better portion of your day at work, spend a good amount of time in the car driving home, the evening gets eaten up by errands (and if I'm having a really productive day, exercise!), I get things ready for the next day... and then it's time for bed.

But I don't think it has to be such an exercise in mechanical motion - I just think it's going to take a bit more effort as an adult to make the things I'm passionate about happen. Instead of waiting for these opportunities, I need to be proactive and create them.

Last weekend, I spent a good amount of time in the car. If you've ever driven I-70 between Kansas City and St. Louis, then you know it's the most barren, boring stretch of highway in America. Ok, I've never driven through the plains of Kansas, but still. This highway had my eyes bleeding by the time I was a couple hours into the drive. By the time I was driving home Sunday, I was tired and ready to be home. I knew there were things I needed to accomplish before I needed to return to my classroom Monday morning.

But then, a sign caught my eye. "Downtown Blackwater, next exit. Then, 4 miles north." I had an internal dialog. "I really shouldn't. I need to get home, there's so much to accomplish, and the evening is almost gone." But then... "I haven't ventured off of the main road in a while, maybe it'll be worth it."

Suffice it to say, I took the exit, and hopped on the backroads of Missouri to scope out Blackwater. And what a discovery - a tiny Missouri township, stuck in a time warp. My only regret was not taking any pictures.

As I circled around to return to the highway, I saw yet another sign for Arrow Rock State Park. Again, I debated with myself over whether I should venture another couple of miles down the road. This time, though, the debate was much easier. I discovered yet another place full of rich history and natural beauty. I most definitely plan to return and explore with Danielle next year.

An hour and a half detour later, and I said "To hell with it! I'm stopping at this truckstop Dairy Queen." A blizzard and a chicken strip basket were the perfect way to cap a much needed exploration.

Even though so much has changed this year, and adventures are so much more fun with the one you love by your side, I need to take the time to find more Blackwaters in my life. I need to slow down and spend time exploring both the physical places that intrigue me, as well as the places that mentally intrigue me: writing, music and photography, to name a few.

What is your Blackwater, and when is the last time you visited?

Vacation Unplugged

The whole (slightly awkward) family.

I vividly remember our family vacation to Panama City Beach in 2008. From our family friends surprising us on the beach the first day, my brother purchasing a bike for his first anniversary with his girlfriend (now wife), or riding the slingshot that catapulted myself and my youngest brother into the night sky at 100mph. I carry all of these memories with me, and they’re nearly palpable. And all of this was accomplished without the assistance of a smartphone. As I look forward to our return to the beach this month, I fear that we’re going to let our screens get in the way of our experience together.

Rather than sharing in the beautiful or memorable or awkward moments with those present with us at the time, society increasingly seems to value sharing these moments with our hundreds of followers on social media. We are everywhere… except in the present moment. Too often I’ve come home to all of my family members all but intravenously plugged into their iPhones (I’m guilty, too.) We’re together as a family, but we aren’t together. And I can’t speak for you, but it starts to feel pretty damn isolating to me.  It’s bad enough when it occurs in our home, but it’s a sad irony when this phenomenon happens at a time when we’re supposed to be escaping our day-to-day lives and spending time together.

I want to live this vacation. All of it. I want to be present and available to my family. I want to sit and read a book, or have honest conversations with my brothers. I want to watch the awkward things strangers do on the beach. And if I’m going to do that, something is going to have to change when it comes to my addiction to my phone.

I’m not unrealistic. I know that we’ve replaced our point-and-shoot cameras with our phones. Instead of fooling myself into thinking I’ll just turn my phone off and leave it in the condo all day, I plan to delete any apps that I waste far too much time on. This includes Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, along with my favorite time-waster, Reddit. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll leave it behind completely for a day, and truly engage with the world around me.

My plea to my family, and to anyone else, is to be more intentional in our interactions during this vacation. And maybe even past our vacation. I crave real interaction with those I love, and I don’t believe I’m the only one out there who feels this way. 

Mom and I circa 2008.

On Writing

 I've always enjoyed writing, but one of the first times that I can recall being aware of my love for writing was during my homeschool-years. At the time, part of my English curriculum was something called Wordsmith Apprentice. Among other activities, this workbook placed you in the role of a journalist. I remember thoroughly enjoying learning how you write a hook in your first paragraph, and what sort of information you needed to display in the first few paragraphs. All sorts of interesting stuff about print journalism that I guess is kind of useless now, but you get the picture. Those experiences as a young pre-adolescent helped shape the person I am today.

Fast forward a decade or so, and I still love writing. But I've fallen out of practice. Especially with my undergraduate days over, my skills are going to become even less polished if I don't start practicing. So, this blog will serve that purpose. This is where I'll be able to flesh out all of my musings or concerns. Hopefully some of it will be mildly interesting.